Very Satisfied

Your Mom Won’t Like This

admin — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 16:22:16 +0000

Have you ever done a drunken drawing with your friends on a
bar napkin? If you’re visiting home don’t leave it lying around
where your Mom can find it.

Salmon Pants

admin — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:11:49 +0000

When I was in art school I knew this guy named Radislov. He was from
Eastern Europe and would often would wear a pair of salmon coloured pants.
Once my friend Felice painted the walls of an art gallery pink for a show.
When Radislov came to the show his legs disappeared.

Fuzzy Wuzzy

admin — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 18:56:11 +0000

Ass Burgers

admin — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:37:37 +0000

Not to be confused with asperger’s syndrome. When you have Ass Burgers life is hard.
You just want to live your life but everyone can smell your delicious ass and tries to
eat it. You can’t trust anyone. Do your friends like you for who you are or do they just want
to eat your ass?

Real Men Call it French Bread (Freedom Bread in America)

admin — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:19:50 +0000

Ass Gas Mask

admin — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 02:07:04 +0000

Tooth-White-Man

admin — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 19:33:32 +0000

An accidental application of radioactive teeth whitening strips gave Tooth-White-Man his power.
By day he is cursed to wear a special set of gold fronts that cover every square inch of his deadly
bright teeth. By night he patrols the city striking fear into the hearts of criminals with his smile of justice.

Mega Super Ultra Venti Skinny Soy Latte

admin — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:13:09 +0000

Morgan Freeman’s Penis

admin — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:01:02 +0000

If you’re having a bad day and you need a little pick-me-up just say those
three little magic words: “Morgan Freeman’s Penis” and you’ll feel better.

Flakes and cheese from his penis have been used by wizards and witches
all over the world to make magical potions.

In the real story of the “Wizard of Oz” (before Hollywood ruined it)
Dorothy (pictured above) didn’t say, “there’s no place like home” and click
her heels together. She said “Morgan Freeman’s Penis” and it appeared
out of the sky and sucked her up into it’s urethra and transported her
back to Kansas.

Morgan Freeman’s Penis is a wormhole to other exciting space-time dimensions.

Gluten

admin — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:38:38 +0000

Dear little gluten,

people are trying to blame you for things.
All manner of things: migraines, cancer, their itchy big toe, divorce.

“Sure”, they say, “why not blame the little Gluten, he’s defenseless.
He doesn’t have a voice, he can’t speak up.”

I just wanted to tell you Gluten that I’m on your side and the only
reason I ate that gluten free pasta the other day is my girlfriend
bought it for me and it was in the cupboard. Did it taste good?
Sure it tasted good, I’m not going to lie, but it felt wrong Gluten,
dirty dirty nasty wrong. I want you to know it won’t happen again.

Love,
Rob